


i hope, i think, i know

by likewinning



Series: nothing gets crossed out [7]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:16:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so he's been ditching Roy a little. He hasn't answered his calls, has only sent short responses every time Roy texts him. But he's been <em>busy</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i hope, i think, i know

"Jayyyyy," Roy says. He sounds drunk, or high, or both. It's four in the afternoon, but that's never mattered to Roy - never mattered to Jason until a couple months ago, either. But things are different now. Now, he goes to school every day, only ditches the occasional class when he convinces Tim to ditch with him. He does most of his homework, on the condition that Tim's there to hang out with him afterward, and he hasn't gotten arrested in at _least_ a month.

Bruce is probably dying of shock. Dick says about the same thing, but he just ruffles Jason's hair and tells him, "I'm proud of you, Jase." That alone almost makes him backslide, but Tim - Tim never takes such a condescending approach to it. No, it's the thing where his face fucking lights _up_ every morning when he sees Jason; it's the thing where he never seems so comfortable as when he and Jason are eating lunch on the bleachers and talking about whatever bullshit they've watched on Netflix or what stupid thing Jason's been painting.

And Roy - "Where have you _been_ , motherfucker?" Roy asks, and Jason feels stupidly guilty. It's not that he's been ditching Roy, it's just -

Okay, so he's been ditching Roy a little. He hasn't answered his calls, has only sent short responses every time Roy texts him. But he's been _busy_. School takes up most of his time, and Tim, and -

It's just, he doesn't want those parts of his life to mix. Tim doesn't get arrested, rarely ditches class, nearly chokes the first time Jason hands him a cigarette. Sure, he never talks about his parents, never seems that eager to be home, but mostly he's - normal. Jason doesn't know if he could handle Roy. Most of the time he's not even sure what the hell Tim thinks he's doing with _him._

"Sorry," Jason says. He opens his bedroom window, curls up on the ledge and lights a cigarette. "How have you been?"

"How have I been?" Roy asks, like it's the dumbest thing he's ever heard. "Well, I was about to put up missing posters, so I guess at least I get to hear your voice."

"Roy…" Jason starts.

"Nah," Roy says. "It's fine." Jason hears Roy take a hit, and his body instantly craves that buzz; he can smell the weed like Roy's right next to him. "It's that kid, right?" Roy asks once he releases the smoke.

"Yeah," Jason says. He tugs at his hair. "His name's Tim. He's a sophomore."

"Aww," Roy says. "Cradle-robbin' just like I did with you, huh Jaybird?"

"Shut up," Jason says. "He's smart as hell, Roy. He's got his shit together."

"And I don't, right?" Roy asks, and it cuts Jason like a fucking knife. He knows that tone of voice, knows it from when Dick stopped hanging out with Roy, knows it from when Dick stopped talking much to _him._

"Roy, it's not -"

"Sure, Jay," Roy says. "Whatever you wanna tell yourself."

He hangs up, doesn't answer Jason the ten times he tries to call him back, ignores his texts for days. If Jason could kick himself in the teeth, he would.

*

"Why don't you just go see him?" Tim asks him a few days later. He's only ever seen Roy in passing, knows him more by reputation than anything. Jason hasn't told him a whole lot about him - just that Roy's his friend, that they hang out a lot, that Roy taught him everything he knows about a whole lot of things.

"I don't know," Jason says. "He won't answer my calls. I've been texting him for days. He's probably just been too stoned to pick up the phone."

"That's not fair," Tim says quietly. They're sitting on Jason's bed, watching an old movie that neither of them has paid much attention to. Tim's head is on Jason's shoulder, hair brushing Jason's chin every time he talks. "He just misses you, Jason. I don't blame him."

"Yeah," Jason says. He slides his fingers under Tim's shirt, teases, "Well, I am pretty great."

Tim bites his shoulder. "Don't change the subject." He pulls away a little so he can look at Jason. The movie's still going, but neither of them are paying attention. "Think about it, Jason. Didn't you tell me how much it broke your heart when Dick drifted away from you?"

Into a thousand fucking pieces. They live in the same house, go to the same school, eat the same meals sometimes, but most days it's like they're on separate planets. All Dick cares about is getting into college, hanging out with his _new_ friends, and Jason -

"Fuck," Jason says. "You're right."

"Well," Tim says, shrugging. "I usually am."

Jason pushes him down on the bed and straddles him. "Don't change the subject."

*

He calls Roy once he drops Tim at home, and when Roy doesn't answer he drives over to his apartment anyway, bangs on the door until Roy says, "It's unlocked, dumbass," and then lets himself in.

Roy's never exactly been a neat freak since he got his own place, but it's worse than Jason's ever seen it - empty beer cans everywhere, half-empty bottles of liquor, ashes on just about every surface. "Jesus," Jason says. "This place is a mess, man."

Roy tosses an empty beer can at him from where he's laid out on the couch. "Funny," he says. "I don't remember ordering housekeeping. Although," he adds when Jason comes around the couch and stands over him, "you'd look cute in a little maid's outfit. You're not as tiny as you used to be, but you could still pull it off." He licks his lips, looks Jason up and down. "That Dickie's?" he asks.

Jason glances down at what he's wearing, an old Replacements t-shirt that Jason spilled paint on once so Dick donated it to him. "Yeah," Jason says.

"Well, that sounds about right then," Roy says. His face twists into a snarl, the kind Jason hasn't seen since the last time they got in a barfight with some rednecks from out of town. "You come to give me the speech? About how we can't play together anymore because I'm a big bad influence?"

"No," Jason says. He kneels down on the floor, kicking aside a couple of empty packs of Newports as he does. He puts his hand on Roy's chest. "I came to apologize for being such a fucking asshole."

Roy stares at him a while. His eyes are glassy, lips chapped; Jason bets anything he hasn't had real food in days. "You know," Roy says after a couple of minutes. "I kinda spent the last couple weeks wanting to knock the shit outta you, but it seems like a shame to break a face that pretty."

Jason laughs, and it comes out like a choking sound; he didn't know how badly he needed Roy to be okay with him until right now. "I'll give you one free hit, asshole. After that all bets are off."

"Nah," Roy says. He grins, pats Jason's cheek. "Just get up here, Jaybird."

"Yeah," Jason says. He kicks off his shoes and socks, climbs onto the couch and straddles Roy.

"Hey," Roy says. He reaches for Jason's belt, then asks, "You want a beer or something?"

"Later," Jason says, shaking his head. "Don't need it right now."

"Okay," Roy says. He shoves Jason's jeans off his ass, doesn't look the least bit surprised when Jason's not wearing anything underneath. "What about your boy? I missed you, Jay, but if you tell me you don't wanna fuck things up with him -"

"We won't," Jason says, hopes it's true. "He knows how things are. He wants to meet you, actually." He swipes his fingers over Roy's mouth and Roy sucks them in greedily. "You know, if you're still talking to me."

Roy releases his fingers with a wet pop, then shoves Jason's shirt up and off. "Maybe I don't wanna talk," Roy says. "Maybe I just want you to fuck me into next week."

"Jesus," Jason says. He crawls off Roy long enough for Roy to get his clothes off and then he tackles Roy, shoves his tongue into Roy's mouth, bites his lip and runs his hands all over Roy's body.

"Fuck, Jay, your _mouth_ ," Roy says when Jason kisses his way down Roy's chest, swirls his tongue over Roy's nipples, licks down Roy's abs and then brushes his mouth over Roy's cock again and again until his mouth is smeared with precome.

"God, baby," Roy says, and Jason shivers. Roy hasn't called him that since they first started this; it's always _Jay_ or _Jaybird_ , _Jason_ if he's pissed off and thinking about hitting Jason with a beer bottle. Jason licks all the way down Roy's cock, moves down to suck on Roy's balls, and then he grabs Roy's legs, puts them over his shoulders and licks Roy's hole.

" _Fuck_ ," Roy yelps. He buries his hands into Jason's hair as Jason stabs his tongue into him again and again until Roy's forgotten words completely, until he's digging his heels into Jason's back, until he's shaking and sweating and _panting_ for Jason.

Jason lifts his head up just in time to get a faceful of Roy's come, all down his mouth, his chin, his neck. Roy tugs at his hair still as Jason licks him clean, licks him until there's nothing left and then he takes Roy in his mouth until he's half-hard again.

When he pulls off Roy, looks up at him. "You wanna fuck me?" he asks. "Or -"

"Fuck me," Roy interrupts. He pushes Jason up into a sitting position, disappears for half a minute and comes back with lube and a condom. Then he gets back on the couch, rolls the condom on Jason and squeezes out some lube. He slicks Jason up with one hand while he reaches back and preps himself with the other, and it's maybe the hottest fucking thing Jason's ever seen. Roy bites down on his lip as he gets himself ready, and Jason cups Roy's face in his hands, kisses the freckles on Roy's nose, the bump under his chin from when some biker hit him with a pool cue.

Once Roy's ready, he climbs onto Jason and he doesn't mess around, just grips Jason's shoulders and sinks right down onto him.

"Oh my _god_ ," Jason says.

"Yeah," Roy says. He grins fierce, his face still flushed from before. He doesn't move yet, just _sits_ on Jason's dick like it's the best feeling in the world, and Jason kind of thinks it might be because every time Roy clenches around him he wants to fucking die. Roy's dick is completely hard again, but Jason doesn't touch it, just gets both hands on Roy's hips and says, "Come on. Ride me."

Roy _whines_ and then he starts to move, uses Jason's shoulders for leverage to push himself up and down, quick and hard and everything they need. "Missed you," Jason hears himself saying.

"Yeah," Roy says. He stops long enough to scrape his teeth over Jason's bottom lip, then pushes himself up again and says, "Maybe next time don't be such an asshole like -"

"I'm not _him_ , Roy," Jason grits out, and Roy doesn't argue with him, just looks him right in the eye and says, "So prove it."

Jason tightens his grip on Roy's hips and fucks into him at an almost brutal pace, so hard that Roy loses his rhythm and can't do anything but throw his head back and moan. He drags Roy's mouth to his again and kisses him all tongue and teeth, then shoves Roy forward until they're both on the floor, beer cans and ashes all around them while Jason keeps fucking him.

"You gonna come again before I do?" Jason asks.

"God," Roy says. " _Yes_." He reaches for his dick, but Jason swats him away, gets both of Roy's wrists in his hands and puts them above his head and keeps driving into him until Roy comes again with a sound like a sob. Jason pumps into him a couple more times before he says, "Fuck, fuck, _Roy_ ," and loses it, too. He collapses on top of Roy's chest, feeling drunker than he has in months.

"You're gonna have to move eventually," Roy tells him after a couple minutes. His hand is back in Jason's hair, stroking softly this time like the first time they did acid and Jason _flipped out_ , made Roy hold onto him for hours until the world righted itself just enough. "Even I'm too fuckin' classy to sleep in this mess."

"Mm," Jason agrees. He's sticky from Roy's come and both of their sweat, and he leans his chin on the new tattoo on Roy's chest and says, "Sorry I suck."

"Aww, Jay," Roy teases. "Trust me, the amount you suck has _never_ been the problem."

"Dipshit," Jason says.

"Whatever," Roy says. "You missed me _so much_."

Jason doesn't bother denying that.

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